Honestly?! I bust my ass all day and all I get when I get home is, "Would you take out the trash?" What the hell do I look like?
Well... You look like part of a relationship, and without stopping to look at what they have done or may be doing, you have jumped to a poor conclusion.
Oh yeah? Well, just what did they do all day?
Why don't you ask them? I mean after you take out the trash. Yes, I said after. Look at it this way, if they have done a lot of stuff, you won't look like as much of an ass when you ask about it, if the trash is done. If they haven't done anything, you have an example of something that makes you feel overburdened that you can both work on. Either way, the trash is done, there is no point to fight or get angry on, and you have probably calmed down enough not to give a snap reply.
This last point is important. Snap replies are where people get hurt and men are extremely good at them because we don't tend to assign as much meaning to words as women do.
An example:
You tell your child to clean their room; they reply with "I hate you!" Well goody. That's nice. Clean your room. You know that they are using the word hate without meaning the full impact of it. What about "I loathe you!" Hold on now little Timmy. What happened that you would put such effort into that?
Yes, I did compare men to children. To be fair, in some aspects, we are like children. We talk without thinking, we are quick to react, and we tend to get a bit upset when we lose. Just remember that women tend to be better at it. They can hold grudges better than any lifeform on earth. This means that you will lose early and often. Whatever you do, make sure you are willing to risk the grudge before you earn it.
Yes, there are going to be times when you need to stand and say something about whatever is going on. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will agonize over the outcome (even if you somehow win). Just make sure the cause is a good one and don't let it become a fight.
If you find yourself reaching that edge where you are angry and want to say something, step out of the room. Talk it over with yourself. Better yet, roleplay both sides and see how that argument goes. Yell if you need to, just dont let them hear it. Once you have found a way to argue it without yelling or taking cheap shots, decide if it is still worth it.
Only then should you attempt to talk it over with your significant other. Remember, they are your partner, not your enemy. It is possible that, just maybe, they aren't actually attacking you.
