Team work

This is a subject with which I have significant difficulty.  Having spent a significant number of my younger years avoiding work, I know that I am very good at it.  With that said, my goal with my wife is not to let her do more than she should.  I struggle everytime I hear that she is working because I am worried I have slacked off too much.  Ideally, neither of us would have to do any work.  I keep looking for a way to make that happen but the answer keeps hiding itself and mocking me.  Thus I am forced to conclude that I am going to have a certain amount of work that must be done.

Ok, so how much is mine?
Let us set a total workload of: laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, lawn work, and painting.
Okay, well we could divide it up based on a guess of the number of hours required.  We could sort it alphabetically and cut it in half.  We could separate, one inside and one outside.  We could play poker for it... the list goes on.  In reality, as far as I can tell, the actual answer is: all of it.   I am responsible for making sure it all gets done. 

Hold on now!  How is that team work?  You have all the work, what does she have?  Well, she has all the work as well.  You entered into a real relationship where you both share responsibility for everything. If the lawn doesn't get mowed, it isn't her fault any less than it is yours.  If the dishes aren't done, you are just as much at fault as she is.  Yes, you are quite capable of cleaning.

Take responsibility for everything that needs to be done. Truly work at the entire list.  If you both work on the same thing then you have each other to talk to and keep company.  If you work on separate things, that is fine as well.  Just remember,  if you come in from mowing the lawn and she is still working at the sink, pitch in and help.  The beer after will taste so much better with her by your side.

Also, before you leap at my eyes and spleen for typing in traditional gender roles, ket us remember that I am trying to help men be better husbands. The first step in breaking gender roles is for all people to realize they don't have to define you. 

My wife can weed whack better than anyone. 

I'm off to make potatos for dinner.