Ahh sleep. The glorious periods where you succumb to unconciousness and relax. Brilliant times of complete and total oblivion. These long times are what you will wish for as you start your journey. Your friends with kids were right. Why didn't I get more sleep?
Well, take heart, it doesn't work like that anyway. Even if you slept for 20 hours prior to birth, chances are you will still be tired 12 to 16 hours later. The bad part is not that you can't get enough hours, you certainly can between feedings, but that you only get about an hour each time.
This is torture but you will get used to it. Here are a few things to remember that can help:
1. It doesn't matter how long, just sleep. Even if you know you don't like short naps. You may not get much else.
2. Your partner is just that. A partner. Not a minion. Certainly not an enemy.
3. Everyone is tired. Believe me, if your baby could stay asleep and not be hungry, they would. They don't hate you. They just only have enough stomach for a walnut. Just one. How long can you go on one walnut?
4. If baby can have a midnight snack, so can you. Just don't go overboard. (Also, don't have your snack be buttered popcorn. Some smells are just too similar)
5. Babies will let you know when they are hungry... except if they are sick, jaundiced, tired, lazy, bored, excited, scared, or hungry. In these cases, they will cry an refuse to take food. Trust me, they want the food, but the don't know what it is or that they need to stop screaming to get it. Keep trying. A bottle can help. Forcing a feeding schedule works best. Yes it means waking a sleeping baby every few hours, but believe me, if they go 4 or 5 hours without food, they will cry for ages and not take much food. You will be up all night.
6. Mama is tired and sore. Add to this the possibilities of baby blues and depression that can happen now and we find her taking on too much. Even if it is just a couple hours in the evening, take baby and a bottle and let her take a nap.
7. Plan to take a weekend off after birth. Don't go anywhere or do anything requiring getting decently dressed or meeting people you know.
8. Let your wife be a baby too. Spend a day letting her rest and recover while you bring both mom and baby food.
9. Go to bed early. I mean early. You won't get to sleep right away because it is new, but winding down will let you slip back and forth between sleep and awake easier.
10. If your baby needs phototherapy, take them to a hospital and stay with them if possible. Children's hospitals are great about this, have the uv equipment, and go nuts about taking care of the parents as well as the baby. There may be home options, but they take longer and you also need to consider just how well you will sleep if you are worrying. The nurses know what to watch for and can spot it long before you even know it is there. For your sanity, just go to the hospital.
11. Your baby will eventually grow a larger stomach and sleep longer. Once that happens, you too will see sleep again.
12. Hug your wife, tell her what a great job she is doing.
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